Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Vocabulary & Opening Crawls

Fairly recently I posted about a vocabular enhancer, a simple list of commonly used words and suitable replacements, which I found during my daily stumble through the Internet. Today I've stumbledupon a new vocabulary modification list that concerns taking out your tired old adjectives--those words that modify nouns--and like Carlson from Of Mice and Men with Candy's old mordant dog, you put 'em out of their misery with an anti-misery gun (that shoot them anti-misery bullets) and replace them with fresh blood, or rather, a more sprightly bouncy new adjective that chews on your slippers. I mean, masticates them.

Here's a sample list:

Corpulent: obese
Crapulous: immoderate in appetite
Defamatory: maliciously misrepresenting
Didactic: conveying information or moral instruction
Dilatory: causing delay, tardy
Dowdy: shabby, old-fashioned; an unkempt woman
Efficacious: producing a desired effect
Effulgent: brilliantly radiant
Egregious: conspicuous, flagrant
Endemic: prevalent, native, peculiar to an area
Equanimous: even, balanced
Execrable: wretched, detestable
Fastidious: meticulous, overly delicate
Feckless: weak, irresponsible
Fecund: prolific, inventive
Friable: brittle
Fulsome: abundant, overdone, effusive

Now you can write with a voice that rings just this side of C. Montgomery Burns. Excellent. I mean...uh, fantabulous.

Before we close, let us use some vigorous vocabulary to write an opening crawl for the new Star Wars movie coming out in... 2015? Really?

"It is a new time for the galaxy--" (Time? Ugh! Start over....)

"It is a new era for the galaxy.
In the years since the destruction
of the evil Galactic Empire, 
nefarious men and new conflicts 
challenge the restoration of peace.

"As a new Galactic Republic struggles 

to guide a galaxy of wartorn planets,
a new Jedi Order, established
by Luke Skywalker, seeks out new
recruits to fill its depleted ranks--

Bleah! Here. This guy does it better. He has a story. I don't.

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